An Attachment Perspective on Solitude and Loneliness

In this chapter we focus on the experience of being alone and propose an attachment-theoretical (Bowlby, 1973, 1982, 1988) approach to explaining individual differences in attitudes toward solitude and the experience of loneliness. Specifically, we propose that a sense of attachment security (believing one can trust others and expecting that they will be available and responsive when needed) provides a sound psychological foundation for enjoying periods of solitude and developing a capacity to be comfortably alone. In contrast, attachment insecurities interfere with this capacity, causing solitude to be perceived as unpleasant and increasing the likelihood of painful feelings of loneliness. We begin with a brief summary of adult attachment theory, explain the concept of felt security, and describe the two major dimensions of attachment insecurity, attachment anxiety, and avoidance. Next, we review findings concerning the interpersonal manifestations of attachment insecurities. We then propose an attachment perspective on solitude and loneliness and review relevant empirical evidence for attachment-related differences, during adolescence and adulthood, in the experience of being alone.