Gender differences in what is desired in the sexual relationship

It has been proposed that women possess a “person centered” orientation to sexuality—the goal of sex is to express affection to another person in a committed relationship. Conversely, men possess a “body centered” orientation toward sex—the goal of sex is physical gratification. These different orientations toward sex in relationships should lead men and women to have different desires in the sexual relationship. We hypothesized that women will desire more activities in sex that demonstrate love and intimacy, while men will desire more activities that focus on arousal aspects of the sexual activity itself (more partner initiative; more variety). Two samples were used to test the hypotheses: 189 undergraduate students and 53 newly married couples. Men and women were asked how much they desired their partner to do less or more of a variety of activities during sex. The results indicated that there were gender differences found in what was desired from the sexual relationship that were consistent with our predictions. These differences may be explained by differential socialization and/or different evolutionary pressures.